Movie Reviews

Directed by: Jonathan Dayton & Valerie Faris
Written by: Michael Arndt
Cast: Alan Arkin, Abigail Breslin, Steve Carell, Toni Collette, Paul Dano, & Greg Kinnear

You've undoubtedly heard about the vast praise received by Little Miss Sunshine in the past few months. The film about a dysfunctional family taking a road trip has already racked up numerous awards, and has even been given Oscar nods for best supporting actress (Abigail Breslin), best supporting actor (Alan Arkin), best original screenplay, and best motion picture of the year. One or more of your friends has definitely recommended it, but do you trust their taste in films?

Well, you should.

It's not the typical indie film that attempts to insert metaphors into every scene and it doesn't overuse profound words of wisdom that people like to quote in their AIM or MySpace profiles. What Little Miss Sunshine does give to its audience is a solid comedic drama, with a variety of memorable characters, each with their own unique take on what it means to be a family.

The storyline is centralized around the fact that a "cute" little girl, Olive, (she really is cute, but your supposed to think she is plain) has to fill in for the winner of her hometown's beauty pageant in a regional contest. The problematic family has to come together, take a road trip, and get their single grain of inspiration - Olive - to her destination so she can compete. Along the way, the family comes to a number of realizations, while simultaneously figuring out their lives in an intriguing and hilarious way.

Recommendation: Move Little Miss Sunshine to your must see list.

Cast: Josh Hartnett, Bruce Willis, Lucy Liu
Director: Paul McGuigan

A crime drama with comedic undertones pits two crime bosses against one another with the wrong man in the middle. Nick played by Josh Hartnett is the mistaken man who owes two crime bosses money The Boss (Morgan Freeman)and The Rabbi(Ben Kingsley). To fix the situation he has to kill The Rabbis son. The first few minutes of the movie quickly pile up bodies and the viewer is not really sure what is going on. As time goes on the story unfolds and Hartnett is not the naive person he comes to play. A different twist on the crime story with times a little corny but entertaining. Bruce Willis plays the quintessential cool bad ass hitman whose role you only find out about near the end. It seems its either a hitman or cop for Willis these days but he plays it well. Lucy Liu plays a quirky neighbor who seems a little desperate for love and finds him in the first few minutes in Hartnett, sorry guys no nudity.

Grade: B-

Written and Directed by: Darren Aronofsky

The Fountain is undeniably complex and is certainly not driven by a traditional narrative; basically it doesn't follow a chronological timeline. But even with Aronofsky's artistic independent approach, it doesn't mean you should give up on this film in the first 10 minutes- even when, most likely, your questions will outweigh the answers.

On a very basic level this film explores a love story and the quest for eternal life. Tommy Creo (Hugh Jackman) is a scientist in the year 2000 trying to save his dieing wife, Izzi Creo (Rachel Weisz), from a cancerous brain tumor. The audience can see this struggle in easy terms, but are also faced with some simultaneous challenges. The Fountain changes between 3 time periods: the modern one previously mentioned, the 16th century in which Tommy is a conquistador, and another in the 26th century, which shows Tommy as an astronaut. The confusing part is that the audience doesn't see the time periods in succession, so you have to balance the images/scenes with what you think is happening in each "dimension." If you don't read an official plot summary before the film, you'll be left to guess whether the past and future are real to the modern Tommy or if they are imagined sequences.

The Fountain has magnificent visual effects, both beautiful and mysterious. The themes are also intriguing: eternal life, rebirth from death, eternal love, and higher powers (to name a few). What Aronofsky attempts to do with this film should not be scoffed at as though it is some kind of failed blockbuster. What The Fountain does do, is provide its audience with a unique way of looking at a film that touches on the questions that everyone will ask at some point in their life.

Don't let the confusion and enigmatic qualities of The Fountain scare you. Step outside of your box.

Cast: Tommy Lee Jones, Barry Pepper, Julio Cedillo
Director: Tommy Lee Jones

The plot: Melquiades Estrada is accidentally shot near the border by Patrolman Mike Norton (Barry Pepper) and is left for dead. A ranch hand and friend played by Tommy Lee Jones has promised Melquiades to bury him in his home town and kidnaps Mike Norton to help transport the body. A sweeping tale of the border crossing shows the beauty of the desert and mexico. Lee plays the old leathered ranch hand well, while Pepper's character takes as much physical pain as possible while still somehow being slighlty humorous. Dwight Yoakam has a small but well played role as the local police.

A different story makes for a fun viewing. I also learned salt and antifreeze wont keep a dead body too fresh.

Grade: B-

Rent The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada

Cast: Pierce Brosnan, Greg Kinnear, Hope Davis
Director: Richard Shepard

A dark hitman comedy, what happens when a burnt out hitman meets a burnt out salesman at a bar. They become friends and soon it seems the salesman becomes part of the jobs. Brosnan is funny as the emotionally drained hitman who has done one too many jobs and has no friends. So what does he do, drink and screw to keep going, but finds even that is not enough. An entertaining movie with not a deep plot, but fast paced enough to keep the viewer interested. Kinnear is likeable enough as the everyday man that he always seems to play.

Grade: B+

Rent The Matador
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Cast: Vincent Gallo, Chloë Sevigny, Cheryl Tiegs
Director: Vincent Gallo

Vincent Gallo wrote, directed and starred in this slow moving story of a motorcycle racer Bud Clay who has lost his love, but constantly tries to replace the void with women he meets on the road. Only at the end of the movie do you find out what happens to Daisy his ex played by Chloe Sevigny. Like many art films this movie could have been shortened way down, very little happens in this movie to make you watch it on normal speed. The scenery on his trip is enjoyable, but is there any reason to spend time filming a guy filling his van up with gas? Little dialogue in this movie stacks up with the likes of Matt Damons art house film Gerry. The rest of the film shows Gallo in constant anguish until the end of the movie which is what started so much controversy and garnered any viewings of this film.

Many viewers may just fast forward through this movie to a graphic blow job scene by Chloe Sevigny. I haven’t seen this type of sex scene outside of a porno. I have to ask as a director at what point do you tell an actress in this intense scene we’d like it to be real no hidden camera angles so you’re going to actually blow your co star and oh yeah that’s me. Apparently this film did not hurt her chances as she moved on to HBO’s Big Love. This sound in this intimate scene is very muted so if you plan on understanding it turn the volume way up. What you find out is Daisy his one true love at a party passed out from drugs and alcohol and was raped by 2 guys at the party. Gallos character walks in on this and not knowing what to do leaves only at the end do we find out she dies from her mixing of drugs. Sorry if I gave out the ending, but you will most likely be watching the movie for the last 5 minutes.

And oh yes the title comes from a chocolate bunny Bud bought Daisy a long time ago.

Grade: D

Rent The Brown Bunny
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Cast: Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Rinko Kikuchi
Director: Alejandro González Iñárritu

A moving story that spans 3 countries and several people from different backgrounds all impacted by a gift to a guide. The story starts in Moroco where an American couple on vacation is involved in a shooting and the wife Susan played by Cate Blanchett is hurt. Stranded in a small Moroccan village Richard the husband (Brad Pitt) does all he can to get his wife help. The story moves into Japan and Mexico slowly showing how all the characters are related. The story is told from different points of view in non chronological order as it seems to be the trend in film. Overall the story is very moving and the soundtrack is equally emotional keeping you in the moment of Mexico, Japan and Morocco. All the acting is well done and Rinko Kikuchi stands out as a deaf mute girl in Japan who is having a hard time coping after her mothers death.

A possible nomination for best director this moving film is a must see.

Grade: A-

Cast: Johnny Knoxville, Katherine Heigl, Brian Cox
Director:Barry W. Blaustein

This movie was HORRIBLE, I almost turned it off but always feel obligated to watch a movie all the way through.

Steve Barker played by Johnny Knoxville and His Uncle Gary (Brian Cox) go about rigging the Special Olympics to pay off debts. I knew the plot going in before the movie and thought it had a chance to be funny, wrong but funny. The writing was dull with very few funny lines. And the premise is an old one guy falls for the girl but has some secret which she eventually finds out and at the end he still gets the girl. Come on would anyone date a guy if they found out he was pretending to be mentally challenged? Knoxvilles acting was dull and he always seems to be falling down like its another episode of jackass.

I am not sure what Katherine Heigl was thinking, stick with Greys Anatomy or read the script next time before accepting.

Pass on this movie, even if all there is is a Lifetime movie on television.

Grade: D

Cast: Claire Danes, Steve Martin, Jason Schwartzman
Director: Anand Tucker

The basic plot: Mirabelle Buttersfield (Claire Danes) has recently moved from Vermont to LA and works at the glove counter at Saks Fifth Avenue. She has little friends but meets Jeremy Kraft (Jason Schwartzman)a quirky artist and they start a short lived fling. After some time Ray Porter (Steve Martin) a wealthy businessman asks out Mirabelle and a budding romance ensues, but he has made clear it is am open relationship.

Shop Girl starts off slow, but picks it up with some emotion. The movie provided a little bit more depth as they delve into Claire Danes bored character with depression. Jason Schwartzman's character Jeremy Kraft was very annoying in the beginning and you wonder how someone could care for him, but he slowly grows on you like mold.

A somewhat entertaining movie with likeable characters.

Grade: C+

Rent Shop Girl
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Directed By: Larry Charles
Cast: Sacha Baron Cohen, Ken Davitian

Quick Background: The Borat movie is about a Kazakhi journalist who is unfamiliar with the American way of life, yet is extremely interested in learning about the U.S. culture. Borat (the character) decides to come to America and make a documentary about his travels to help "benefit" the people of Kazakhstan. The character originated on the HBO series "Da Ali G Show."

Borat is absolutely one of the craziest/provocative comedic films that has ever been released in major theaters across the U.S. The video clips of this film circulating around the Internet are just as insane as the entire movie. Basically take those clips and add about 20 more, along with a small plot about traveling across the United States and that's the movie. It sounds simple, but every scene includes the bizarre behavior of Borat. I think what makes this movie so hilarious is the fact that Sacha Baron Cohen (Talladega Nights) makes the people in the film believe that his character, Borat, is a real man facing cultural differences. The film doesn't lead you to believe that Borat is fake, but if you know that he is an actor messing with real people before you watch the film, then it just might make it funnier (I think most people get the actor part anyway, I hope).

This film has had a lot of controversy surrounding its release. If you don't like to see people get messed with, this might not be a great pick. If you are uncomfortable with jokes about religion, race, sexual identity, and/or don't want to see male nudity- then this movie definitely wouldn't be a great pick. However, if you like "Da Ali G Show," like that "Jackass" kind of humor, and somehow might want to look at this film as a comedic commentary on our ever growing global-society...then you just might like it. NIIIIIICE.

Cast: Aaron Eckhart, Katie Holmes, William H Macy
Director: Jason Reitman

An amusing story of a Tobacco Lobbyist Nick Naylor played by Aaron Eckhart whose job it is to change peoples minds about the perils of smoking. Nick loves his job and does it well manipulating the media and anti smokers. William H Macy plays the crunchy Vermont senator who wants to put poison labels on all cigarette packs, has Nick finally met his match? Nicks life is quickly turned around when he meets the beatiful news reporter Heather Holloway (Katie Holmes). Rumor has it Tom cruise had the producers delete a topless scene of Katie Holmes, too bad.

Maria Bello and David Koechner put in good performances as Nicks only friends and evil spinmasters. Aaron Eckhart makes his character likeable even when being despised and makes some valid arguments when trying to explain to his son played by Cameron Bright why he does what he does. A fun movie even though I hate smoking.

Grade: A-

Rent Thank You For Smoking
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Cast: Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Tony Curran
Director: Len Wiseman

What can we say about Underworld Evolution? Better than the first but then again thats not saying much. It's vampires & werewolves meet the Matrix. The story takes place where the first left off, Selene played by Kate Beckinsale dressed in tight leather yes a Trinity knock off but she looks much better than Carrie Ann Moss has killed one of the elder vampires and she is being hunted. Along with her is a hybrid vampire/wereelf played by Scott Speedman. The ladies will appreciate the fact that he wears no shirt throughout the movie. They attempt to wake up the original vampire to tell them what has happened, but too late he's awake and hunting Selene down becuase little does she know she knows something of great importance. The story unravels the origins of vampires and werelwolves.

Pretty good action and special affects, but I always wonder why Selene constantly uses guns, she's a vampire and should be able to kick ass without them. Plus I don't understand why she needs a flashlight shouldn't she be able to see in the dark.

The plot is a little to intricate, everyone has to make these sci fi stories with multiple plot lines, gets a little annoying.

Beckinsale shows very little skin during her love scene, not much since her husband was behind the camera directing.

Overall entertaining, but the story line lacked interest and Beckinsale just shot endless bullets into people when she should have just bit their heads off.

Overall: C

Rent Underworld Evolution

Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Mark Wahlberg, Alec Baldwin, Vera Farmiga
Director: Martin Scorsese

The Departed looks to be based on the life of Boston Gangster Whitey Bulger, though never mentioned. Taking place in modern day Boston, it's the telling of a gangster who has put moles into the Boston State Police to act as his informants. You find out everyone is on the take and its a fine line between cop, criminal and informant.

Scorsese's film is a great mix of violence and humor and the multitude of talented actors stand out. Jack Nicholson does a stunning job as Frank Costello the Boston Mob Boss and may be nominated. Alec Baldwin is humorous as Captain Ellerby who heads up the Special Units department and the two main characters, Billy Costigan (DiCaprio) and Colin Sullivan (Damon) play well as the local boys becoming cops. Even Mark Wahlberg the foul mouthed Sargeant does a great job as the hard ass cop. Vera Farmiga plays Police Psychiatrist and the love interest in both Billys and Colins life. Eventhough I dont really see a shrink falling in love with a drug addict, undercover cop but thats just me.

A great unexpected ending that left the audience gasping in the theatre, but the final scene while thrown in for humor I felt should have been left out.

Overall a great little brother to Scorsese's pinnacle crime drama Goodfellas.

Grade: A-

Get Tickets to See The Departed

Cast: Charlize Theron, Marton Csokas, Jonny Lee Miller, Pete Postlethwaite
Director: Karyn Kusama

Based on the Animated Series Aeon Flux falls very much short. The plot; a plague has ravaged the world leaving less than 10% of the population left who know live in the city Bregna. Taking place 400 years in the future Aeon Flux an assasin part of the Monican rebellion is assigned to kill the leader of the government Trevor Goodchild (Marton Csokas). Aeon is played well by Charlize Theron, but her character lacks much except for skin tight outfits and a little ass kicking. The cartoon rarely made sense and neither does this plot. I have yet to see too many futuristic plots that make sense or are truly entertaining, not since Blade Runner. I was surprised she would sign on to make this movie, while the potential was there the script was god awful.

Just once I'd like to see a futuristic movie with weapons that make sense, soldiers that aren't pathetic and a good plot.

I'd pass on this movie

Rating: D

Rent Aeon Flux

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Directed and written by: Greg Marcks

Cast: Shawn Hatosy, Hilary Swank, Patrick Swayze, Clark Gregg

11:14 is an unlucky time of night in the town of Middleton. The lives of a number of unsuspecting townspeople will come together in a chaotic and gruesome climax, as the viewer watches each terrible situation, one at a time. It's filmed in fragments, similar to the Academy Award winning film Crash (2004), but it doesn't have an important underlying theme, well maybe it's- don't do something bad. Anyway, this is an independent film, but it draws a few big name actors like Hilary Swank and Patrick Swayze. The performances are believable, but not memorable. There were a number of times when I found myself furrowing my brow for one reason or another, but mostly because of shock. If you're a fan of movies like Happiness (1998), KIDS (1995), Memento (2000), or Bully (2001), this movie is right up your alley. Basically this film asks a lot of its viewer, but is nonetheless interesting.

Directed by: Louis Leterrier

Cast: Jason Statham, Amber Valetta, Keith David, Alessandro Gassman, Kate Nauta

Quick synopsis: After a little boy is kidnapped, an emissary or "transporter" attempts to stay true to his pledge that no one will hurt the youngster. The transporter goes all-out to try to get the boy back to safety and single-handedly take on countless bad guys.

Transporter 2 certainly makes use of its action genre film status in its 87 minute runtime. From the opening scene until the end the audience finds little downtime from the car chases, martial arts, gunfire, and explosions. The action also takes place on land, sea, and air, supporting the main character, Frank Martin, (Jason Statham) as versatile fighting unit that faces little damage for only being human. But the audience is basically seeing what appears to be a superhero without the cape. You can't go into this movie hoping to be floored, however, Transporter 2 does provide for an entertaining hour and a half. Some of the action sequences are even quite well done, but if you're looking for a film with some substance, this one probably won't cut it.

Directed by Michael Ferris Gibson

1) Interested in the internet? Check.
2) Interested in voyeuristic documentaries? Check.
3) Interested in the secret life of many San Francisco citizens? Check.

Then 24 Hours on Craigslist may be the film for you.

24 Hours on Craigslist is a movie about the people that post on http://www.craigslist.org, the free online classifieds started by Craig Newmark.

After seeing this flick go view the “Best of Craigslist” section on the Craigslist site. Funny Stuff.

Overall: A

Rent: 24 Hours on Craigslist

Directed by: Spike Lee

Cast: Denzel Washington, Clive Owen, Jodie Foster

On the same level as Ocean's Eleven (2001) and The Italian Job (2003), Inside Man depicts a one-of-a-kind heist that keeps the audience interested until the end. The film basically jumps right into action, showing the beginnings of a dynamic bank robbery just minutes after the opening credits. Even though Inside Man pushes reality a little bit, it doesn't push enough to make the audience question the believability. Overall it stays true to the world the film creates. Jodie Foster does a good job playing her character Madeline White, except I couldn't figure out her character's profession. I knew she was in a high power position because she had the mayor and everyone else wrapped around her finger, but was she a property investor or a lawyer of some sort or even something else? I just couldn't tell. Fortunately Denzel Washington clearly played Detective Keith Frazier, an entertaining and witty character that remained unperturbed by the robbers: the basic kind of protagonist the audience roots for.

Compared to other movies in this genre of cops and robbers I found it to be a fairly memorable one.

Directed by: Sidney J. Furie

Cast: Peter O'Toole, Joan Plowright, Alicia Silverstone, Lochlyn Munro

One of the most popular bands from the United States takes a break from the media attention of being rock stars and relaxes on a stately manor in the countryside of England. The band is also trying to incorporate a new member after the disappearance of an original band-mate, so taking a break from the public eye is just what the record label big-shots prescribe. The viewer is left to see if the band can work things out in a new setting and with a new face.

The premise sounds interesting, but the movie plays out mediocre. Rock My World, also known under the title Global Heresy (2002), basically feels like a made-for-TV movie, except it has an R rating. By looking at the cover of the movie case a viewer is led to believe that the film revolves around Alicia Silverstone's character, when in fact the film is about everyone in the band, as well as, the owners of the English manor. Rock My World stays generally light hearted and humorous, but there are a few intense moments which are basically the highlights of the movie. The music the band "plays" throughout the movie isn't bad, so at least their stardom is believable in the film.

Directed by: Michael LaBash & Anthony Leondis

Writing credits: Anthony Leondis & Eddie Guzelian

MPAA: Rated PG for some mild action.

Originally planned to be the theatrical sequel to the first Lilo & Stitch film; Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch was released direct to Disney DVD.

The fact that this was planned for theaters shows through. It obviously uses the techniques for film animation as opposed to the TV crew that produces the Disney channel series.

It contains several references to Elvis and one sad moment that kids may cry during, but overall a fun continuation of the original.

Overall: Rent / B+

Rent Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch

Directed by: Warren Beatty
Screenplay by: Warren Beatty & Jeremy Pikser

Cast: Warren Beatty, Halle Berry, Don Cheadle, Oliver Platt, Paul Sorvino, Jack Warden, Isaiah Washington – lots of other recognizable actors as well

On the last leg of the 1996 California Primaries, Senator Jay Bulworth (Warren Beatty) drops his original campaign plan, changing his style and beliefs overnight, while shocking his campaign staff. The film follows Jay Bulworth's life until the primaries close and the results are in.

Bulworth was probably really funny when it was first released, but stylistically the premise makes it lose its timelessness and some of its humor. The film does, however, become more interesting as it progresses into the storyline and fortunately I didn't feel like I wasted my time. Warren Beatty does a good job being a corny, rapping politician. Halle Berry seems to have difficulty playing a gansta chick and the role doesn't fit her as an actress.

Check it out if you are looking for a film somewhere between a comedy and a drama. However, this isn't a must see.

Cast: Don Johnson, Virginia Madsen, Jennifer Connelly
Director: Dennis Hopper

A drifter (Don Johnson) comes to a small town in Texas and gets a job as a car salesman. He comes up with a way to make a quick buck, rob the local bank and use a building on fire as a decoy. He falls for a coworker (Jennifer Connelly) but sleeps with the wrong woman, his bosses wife played by the seductive Virginia Madsen. Steamy sex scenes with Madsen and Johnson as well as Jennifer Connelly and multiple plot twists make this a fun movie to rent. Don Johnson in his prime before Nash Bridges and Virginia Madsen before she put the weight on. Check this movie out.

Grade: B+

Rent The Hot Spot

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Cast: Bruce Willis, Kevin Pollack, Ben Foster
Director: Florent Emilio Siri

An LA Police Negotiator (Bruce Willis) fails to save a child and leaves the LA Police Force to be a small town sheriff. He's caught up in a hostage situation that keeps getting worse when one of the hostages is tied to the mob and they want him and some dvds he has. To get Bruce Willis to comply the mob kidnaps Willis's family.

The movie has plenty of action but little else. One time I'd like to see a movie shootout where the bad guys can actually hit something. In one scene Willis actually shoots 5 armed mob guys in a room.

Grade: C-

Rent Hostage
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Directed By: Adam McKay
Written By: Adam McKay and Will Ferrell
Cast: Will Ferrell, Sacha Baron Cohen, Gary Cole, Michael Clarke Duncan, Jane Lynch, John C. Reilly

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, rated PG-13, is a comedic portrayal of a fictitious NASCAR driver's rise to fame. The film satirically looks at the pop-culture of advertising and racing sports. There are also many hilarious lines that you'll probably find yourself repeating to your friends.

Talladega Nights is not the first time that writer/director Adam McKay and writer/actor Will Ferrell teamed up to write a movie. You may remember their film Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004). It was kind of a big deal. Anyway, Talladega Nights is their second major film as a writing team. Similar to Anchorman, Talladega Nights is about a dimwitted main character that is outrageously vain, yet oblivious to the discomfort of the people around him. The main character's arrogance is so dumb that the audience can't help but laugh at the lack of humility. Fictitious NASCAR driver Ricky Bobby (Will Ferrell) is the Talladega Nights main character whose self-promoting idiocy works perfectly with the large amounts of sponsorships and advertising usually associated with NASCAR. The role is unique, but there is nothing incredibly special about Will Ferrell's performance except for the fact that he is a generally humorous actor and uses a believable southern accent. However, John C. Reilly (Gangs of New York [2002] & Magnolia [1999]) does a hilarious job in his supporting role as Ricky Bobby's teammate Cal Naughton, Jr. and Gary Cole, infamously known for his role as Bill Lumbergh in the cult classic Office Space (1999), proves to be a great deadbeat redneck as Ricky Bobby's father.

Talladega Nights stands as a solid comedy and is worth checking out on the big screen or when it comes to video.

Cast: Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Vince Vaughn
Director: Doug Liman

The movie that started the hollywood romance. Jane and John Smith (Anglian Jolie & Brad Pitt) are married to each other for 6 years but are bored with their lives. Neither knows they are both governemnt assassins until they are set up as targets. Its a ridiculouse movie with possibly more killed people in 1 movie then I have seen in a long time. Very little else happens in the movie except for 2 pretty people trying to kill each other unsuccessfully. There are occasional attempts at humor with Vince Vaughn, but they are few and not well written. I'd pass on this movie.

Grade: C-

Rent Mr. & Mrs Smith
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Cast: Yu Wang, Kang Kam
Director: Yu Wang

How great can a movie be when it's written, directed and starred in by the same person, kick ass great if it's a 70s martial arts flick. It's your typical Martial Arts flick with cheesy effects, old men who can kick your ass and the occasional eye gouging. I always wanted to be able to make sounds with my arms and hands and walk on walls but alas I cannot. Heres the basic plot The One Armed Boxer has killed 2 evil students in a previous movie, and their master the blind Fu Sing Wu Chi seeks revenge with his deadly Flying Guillotine. Picture a Beekeeper hat with a saw blade on it that chops your head off with deadly accuracy. The Evil master hunts the One Armed Boxer down but not before he kills any one armed person in his path. There is a martial arts competition going on with some really interesting characters like the indian who can extend his arms to kick his opponents ass or the japanese fighter who fights in more of a Capoeira style. And apparently everyone wants to beat on the poor One Armed boxer to prove they are the best, come on he has just one arm. But wait I think he's hiding it in his shirt. Apparently CGI wasnt invented in the 1970s. Well in the end, smarts and one arm outdo old and blind, Sorry Flying Guillotine.

If you are looking for old school martial arts with cool moves and poor dubbing then you're better off searching for the Kung Fu channel, man I miss it.

If you saw the original The One Armed Boxer, please let me know I dont think I could watch both.

Grade: C-

Rent Master of the Flying Guillotine
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Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Val Kilmer, Michelle Monaghan
Director: Shane Black

A quirky murder mystery with Robert Downey Jr playing a small time thief who after a busted robbery finds himself in a casting call for a new movie. Flown to LA his life quickly takes a turn for the worst when under the tutelage of Gay Perry (Val Kilmer) a detective, he's the witness to a murder then set up as the fall guy. Along the way he runs into his former dream girl from home played by Michelle Monaghan. The movie starts off well with a blend of mystery and well written humor but gets a little tedious and ridiculous. Kilmer does a great job as Gay Perry the homosexual detective picking on the bublimg idiot Downey's character. Michelle Monagahan plays Harmony Faith Lane a would be actress who has been trying for years unsuccessfully to hit it big. She comes across as she's done things in her life shes not proud of.

Overall the movie is funny with great lines, Kilmer plays off Downeys character well but the plot is weak and the ending lacks any sort of credibility. As usual Hollywood throws in the usual nudity scene with Michelle Monaghan who is very hot, but her character lacks substance.

Grade: B

Rent Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

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Directed by Stephen Gaghan

Staring George Clooney as Bob Barnes and Matt Damon as Bryan Woodman

MPAA: Rated R for violence and language.

Syriana, the Oscar winning tale of the dance between the CIA, Middle East and the Oil Industry.

George Clooney does a very solid job shooting in exotic locations and Matt Damon holds up well in his role as a consulting investment banker. Worth seeing if you are interested in seeing a “ripped form the headlines” story about Sheiks and assignations. Worth passing if you need an upbeat comedy and want a few laughs.

Interesting note: George Clooney mentioned in an interview that he gained 30 pounds in 30 days and shaved back his hairline for the role.

Overall: Rental

8/10 Trench Coat Wearing Tiki Heads

Directed by: Robert Wise
Cast: Michael Rennie, Patricia Neal, Hugh Marlowe

When a large UFO enters into our atmosphere, lands in a public park, and a single alien says he comes in peace; as a viewer, I'd say too predictable. But just moments later, when the alien gets shot by a nervous soldier and the bleeding wound doesn't make him upset, my urge to hit the stop button subsides. Then the story calmly continues and the alien, who looks strikingly like an average human male, learns more about our Earthly ways (the good and bad). However, The Day the Earth Stood Still is not simply a film about extraterrestrial contact. Released only 6 years after the official end of World War II, this 1951 Golden Globe winner for "Best Film Promoting International Understanding," represents a changing time in American culture. The Cold War was in its early years, so uncertainty about the direction of foreign affairs was on the minds of many. The film shows the wary reaction of the average American citizen. People seem more upset than amazed about what initially appears to be a wonderful chance for technological advancement, among other possibilities.

The Day the Earth Stood Still also has some interesting visual qualities, especially Gort, an enormous robot, played by the 7'7" actor Lock Martin. His robot character has a bare metallic-looking body with no flashy lights or mechanisms, which provides for an overall enigmatic quality.

The film holds its place in the classic sci-fi genre and a viewer should make note of both "classic" and "sci-fi" -no surprises there. Runtime: 92 minutes.

Written, Directed, and Produced by M. Night Shyamalan

Cleveland Heep (Paul Giamatti) is a stuttering apartment superintendent who goes about his daily routine of answering to his tenant's needs when a mystical woman named Story (Bryce Dallas Howard) enters into his life unexpectedly. She is from the Blue World; a place that humankind has forgotten. As the events unfold and the woman's secrets are revealed, Cleveland Heep learns about himself and about the lives of those around him more than he could have ever imagined. Despite these glints of hope, a supernatural wolf-like creature continuously tries to stop this union of knowledge from happening.

This basic synopsis for Lady in the Water is only a glimpse into the unique details of the film; however, similar to other M. Night Shyamalan films like The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable, Lady in the Water attempts to achieve the same type of suspenseful impact that movie-goers would find in these other flicks. The basic formula is as follows: the main character doesn't know his purpose, he struggles with a cryptic conflict, and BAM the audience is shocked by unpredictable elements! I'm not bashing this formula; after all, it works and keeps the audience interested. But Lady in the Water still has no elements that stand out prominently beyond M. Night Shyamalan's other films. There are, however, a few notable underlying themes about how man has lost touch with nature and how man is due for an awakening.

Lady in the Water is at least worth renting when it makes it to DVD. The other M. Night Shyamalan films are worth checking out as well.

Directed by Joone

Rated R

Staring Jesse Jane as Jules, Carmen Luvana as Isabella, Evan Stone as Captain Edward Reynolds & Tommy Gunn as Captain Victor Stagnetti.

So you are adding to your Netflix queue one afternoon and under the “Action & Adventure” section you spy a movie simply titled Pirates. The cover art looks great, it is given the ubiquitous R rating and seems to have the same feel as the popular Pirates of the Caribbean films of late. You might think that it would be worth checking out. There is more you should know.

First of all this movie does in fact take cues from the blockbuster movie Pirates of the Caribbean. It is not done in an overly sarcastic way, more of an homage to those films. But that is where their similarities stop.

What becomes painfully obvious as you watch the movie is that this is an honest to goodness full story line featuring adult stars without any real adult scenes. These are adult movie stars in the sense that these actors do the hokey pokey on film regularly, but there is no hokey pokey shown in this movie. The viewer would not necessarily know that this movie uses LA’s finest because Netflix and Blockbuster do not rent overly sexy films and this is in fact a tame version of the racier full version sold elsewhere.

So it is an adult movie with no porn in it, therefore removing the “adult” from adult movie and changing it into a….movie. Even though no wang chungs are seen in this version of the film, it still has adult actors and the viewer does not exactly get lost in the characters. Typically these individuals are not judged strictly on their acting, but remember with no sexy time that is all you get to see.

The viewer ends up becoming a plot archeologist. You find yourself discussing with others in the room what might have been cutout where and when the soundtrack may have been altered. Looking for the missing pieces may be a fun game for parties, but not something to watch with overly serious mindset.

The film does have fun costumes, a wide range of regional accents that the actors do not try to hide and a lighthearted feel about it. What it does not have is Oscar winning acting, an engaging plot or anything that would tip it out of the R rating.

Overall this is a lavish evolution in film making for many of these actors. See it if you know who these people are or would like a steamy romance with a Pirate theme. Don’t see it if you think is has anything to do with Disney or if you want to see the sexy hokey pokey.

6/10 Sexy Tiki Heads

Rent Pirates

Cast: Keira Knightley, Mickey Rourke, Delroy Lindo, Edgar Ramirez, Ian Ziering, Brian Austin Green
Director: Tony Scott

Fast paced action thriller, loosely based on the life of Domino Harvey (played by Kiera Knightley) born from an actor father and model mother who became a bounty hunter and who recently passed away. Watching this movie almost gave me a seizure as Tony Scotts MTV style of directing has a scene happen every split second. It's your standard action movie packed with explosions, a little nudity, gore and some cameos (the boys from 90210 are on it as is Tom Waitts and Lucy Liu) This movie reminded me of a poor mans True Romance with a bounty hunter thrown in. Yes we get to see some topless nudity from Ms. Kiera Knightley, not too bad and some good old ass kicking from a wacked guy named Choco (Edgar Ramirez) but how many movies can we see Mickey Rourke doing before his face explodes from the plastic surgery.

Brief Plot: Domino and her team of Bounty hunters are after 4 armored car hijackers who stole $10 Million from a casino, who in fact is tied to the mob.

Grade: C, action packed keeps you interested. How often do you get to see the cast of 90210 get the sh*t kicked out of them.

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Directed by: Spike Lee
Written by: Spike Lee

At first glance, this "Spike Lee Joint" may appear fairly controversial based on its racially charged content, but within the first few lines of the film the audience realizes that Bamboozled is a satire aimed at the political correctness of our society. The film shows how strange things become when a blatantly racist television show (reminiscent of minstrel shows in which performers wore "black face") produces extremely unexpected results. The absurd spin on what is broadcast from a major television network makes for a humorous and enlightening satirical look at what the main character Pierre Delacroix (Damon Wayans), a television writer, is able to provide to millions of viewers on the "idiot box." This film also stars: Savion Glover, Jada Pinkett-Smith, Tommy Davidson, and Michael Rapaport. In a hard-to-swallow story like Bamboozled, this group of actors does an excellent job of not letting the audience feel like they are in Bizarro World.

Bamboozled is provocative film with a creative storyline and unusual characters. The racial issues don't overwhelm the audience and the film provides for some very intriguing discussions about stereotypes, media, and even modern history.

Do the Right Thing and see this movie.

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Cast: Anton Yelchin, David Duchovny, Robin Williams, Tea Leone, Erykah Badu
Director: David Duchovny

The story of a 13 year old boy whose life takes a turn for the worst so he runs away, he only faces his fears years later as a husband and father. Overall the plot is lacking and the characters very basic. Robin Williams acting was not at his finest, he seems to go in and out of his character of the mentally challenged friend. I have never liked Tea Leone as her characters always seem to be the same head cases.

Grade: C-

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Director: Jonathan Glazer
Cast: Nicole Kidman, Cameron Bright, Lauren Baccall

An interesting premise, Nicole Kidmans dead husband comes back after he dies in the park as a 10 year old boy with the same name. The hook of whether the kid is real or not keeps you watching. Nicole really freaked me out with her short hair and that she thinks the boy is her dead husband and may try and work it out. The kid does a great job convincing people he is the husband. This movie stirred up some controversy as Nicole Kidman in a scene is in the tub and the boy gets in with her.

A different story, not a great movie but watch it as it entertains.

Grade:C+

Rent Birth
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Directed by: Gore Verbinski

How do you try to outdo an already largely successful Walt Disney/Jerry Bruckheimer production (Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl) about adventurous pirates and their supporters? Stick with what worked in the first film, but add more...well, everything. More explosions, more sword fighting, more treasure hunting, and more humor. Bringing back the same easily recognizable characters of Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) won't hurt either. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is a definitive summer-blockbuster product. It's the kind of movie pop-culture demands of high-budget films. So if your bag is independent films, you may STILL find something to like about Dead Man's Chest. Maybe it will be Johnny Depp's quirky Jack Sparrow character. There's a definite hint of Depp's role as Hunter S. Thompson from the film Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas in Sparrow's mannerisms.

There's a lot to comprehend, especially if you haven't seen the first installment. Overall the film entertains for its full 150 minutes, as the characters continuously find themselves in predicaments in which only the most skilled buccaneers can overcome. Dead Man's Chest has adventure mixed with a fair amount of humor to break tension between characters. Great for the big screen.

Directed by Bryan Singer

Rated PG-13

Brandon Routh as Clark Kent/Superman, Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane & Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor.

Soups is back with a 21st century adaptation of the DC Comics classic.

Superman Returns still has the classic look and feel that the viewer expects, but the film hints that things have changed while he was gone (gone from theaters & from his fictionalized world).

Rather than spoil the details of the movie, you can rest assured that the man of steel still leaps tall buildings in a single bound and is faster than a speeding bullet. It is a traditional superhero romp that should please even casual fans of the genre.

An interesting note is that the screenplay references Superman as a god-like being. By doing that the film can flirt around with the morals of what responsibility does an interventionist god have on everyday occurrences in the average human beings life. A kid could write a thesis about that one.

Superman has returned. A figure for truth, justice & this one scene where a bullet bounces off his cornea.

Overall: See It
Rating: 8/10 Flying Tiki Heads

Cast:Janchiv Ayurzana, Chimed Ohin, Amgaabazar Gonson, Zeveljamz Nyam
Director: Byambasuren Davaa, Luigi Falorni

Set in Mongolia it's the story of a family of nomads who have a young white colt camel who is unloved by it's mother hence the weeping. They try everything from forcing the mother with a rope to a song, but nothing seems to work. That is until a violinist from the main village comes by. The movie is rated PG yet they for some reason showed the birth of the camel, its not pretty neither are the hairy camels but thats nature. I did learn that baby camels have 2 humps when born, but they are deflated like a pillow case. Overall the movie is a little slow not much to the life of a nomad in Mongolia. (For any nomadic Mongolians reading this, maybe your life isn't boring what do I know.) I did like the movie, kept to 1.5 hours it didn't go on and on and showed a caring family unit set in the harsh environment of Mongolia. Not sure what these nomads needed so many camels for but hey they sre are cute (not really)

Rent The Story of the Weeping Camel
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Cast: Gérard Jugnot, François Berléand, Jean-Baptiste Maunier
Director: Christopher Barratier

The Chorus is a delightful french film similiar to Goodbye Mr. Chips it's the story of a failed musician/composer who has become a Prefect at a boarding school for orphans and troubled boys. At first the kids rebel to the Teacher Clement Mathieu (Gerard Jugnot) but soon find solace in the chorus he has formed vs the hardened Headmaster (Francois Berleand). It's a feel good movie with the Prefect a simple but sweet man trying to give the kids a break. Check the movie out, nominated for an Academy Award.

Grade: A-

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Directed by George Stevens

Giant is the legendary epic, that you have not seen, staring Elizabeth Taylor, Rock Hudson and James Dean. An impressive cast for any film.

At 3.5 hours the term epic is not used lightly. Hell, let’s make that “EPIC” in all caps, not all caps in a yelling over instant messenger kind of way, but in a tall letters staring down at you kind of way. After all, most of the movie takes place in Texas and everything is bigger in Texas. This EPIC gives the viewer insight into 25-30 years of time passing in the lives of several people and each actor handles these demands with impressive flair.

Giant is mentioned in conversation typically as ‘the last movie James Dean made’. James Dean died shortly after Giant wrapped. Giant has so many costumes, makeup changes and unique scenes that the studio could have slowly released pieces of the film mixed with other footage such that James could be releasing a film starting Tu-Pac and the Notorious BIG next week, but I digress…

I could write a thesis on this movie, but ultimately it boils down to the human condition – over time things change and you can’t plan for everything. In addition, the Giant makes references to many social issues including: human rights, healthcare, the role of women in society and stereotypes, but is not continually focused on any one issue.

Why you should see it – Giant allows the viewer to see what James Dean could have become and give insight into why he continues to be an icon to this day.

Put Giant on the Netflix queue and mention it at a cocktail party for extra points.

Overall: Rent
Rating: 8/10 cowboy hat wearing tiki heads.

Rent Giant

Directed by: Raymond Phelan & Doris Wishman

Please note - I have categorized this movie as “Sci-Fi” it easily could be under a Comedy or Farcical category.

Also note that the title is misleading. There are no nude people in this movie (topless is not nude) and no one goes anywhere near the moon, unless the moon looks exactly like Coral Castle park in Florida. Yes that Florida, outside in the fresh air and sunshine of the good old U.S. of A. with blue skies, clouds and tropical pants.

So you are a rocket scientist looking for adventures on the moon? Here is your field guide:

• Get a desk.
• Grow minor passion for interplanetary travel.
• Receive a check in the mail.
• Buy a complete space launching facility without any government aide.
• Go to moon, remember to bring a jumpsuit and a plastic helmet.
• Check out local natives (sun-brunt B movie starlets).
• Return and fall in love with a co-worker.

You get the idea. Nude on the moon is overall a fun laugh, suitable for use as a background image at a bar or party.

The kids today with their sexy space travel...when I was a boy we had a hoop and a stick and that was enough adventure for us.

Rent Nude on the Moon

Cast: Jake Gyllenhaal, Heath Ledger, Anne Hathaway, Michelle Williams
Director: Ang Lee

A good movie, but a little overhypped and overrated. The story of 2 Wyoming cowboys who are tending sheep fall in love. A very large taboo for men in Wyoming as well as in the 1960's. Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) plays the quieter of the two, Ennis rarely speaks and when he does it's hard to understand. I had to replay the ending twice and finally use subtitles just to figure out what the last line of the movie was. For those who missed it, its "Jack, I swear." Thats it sorry it wasn't some amazing life turning statement. Jake Gyllenhall plays the more outgoing gay cowboy Jack Twist maybe thats why he got the cooler name. Their love spawns over 20 years hidden from their wives and family, or so they think. Michelle Williams was nominated as Heaths wife but in my opinion she did a good job but not worth a nomination. For those faint of heart yes their were some sex scenes which homophobes may not appreciate. The story was very interesting and the scenery of Wyoming, actually Canada was breathtaking.

Grade: B+

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Cast: (Voices)Peter Sallis, Helena Bonham Carter & Ralph Fiennes
Director: Steve Box

A fun movie for kids and adults, I was a little shocked by some of the adult humor considering the G rating. The storyline, Wallace and Gromit own a pest control business and are very successful with apparently an overunn of rabbits. To ensure no rabbit attacks any farmers vegetables for the annual contest Wallace attempts to use one of his many inventions to train rabbits through mind control when things go wrong. Ralph Fiennes plays the snobby hair piece wearing (Victor Quartermaine) and Helena Bonham Carter (Lady Tottington) Wallaces potential love interest. A funny animation that entertains all ages.

Grade: A-

Rent Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

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Cast: Matthew Broderick, Christopher Walken, Penelope Ann Miller
Director: Mike Nichols

Biloxi Blues is a hilarious film version of Neil Simons play. Matthew Broderick plays Eugene Morris Jerome a young New York writer who has been drafted into the Army during WWII. The story takes place in boot camp in Biloxi Mississippi where he meets the grizzled Sargent Toomey (Christopher Walken) who immediately takes a disliking to Eugene and his fellow New Yorker Arnold Epstein (Corey Parker). Neil Simons does a great job converting his play to the big screen with funny lines throughout. A Must See.